


Did Your Mother Teach You To Cross On The Green?

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Episode Related, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Michael Novotny Bashing, Minor Character Death, Points of View, Romance, Season/Series 02, Spoilers, Unsafe Sex, What-If, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-25
Updated: 2008-07-06
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:05:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 10,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: What if after Michael walked away in 206, Justin still wasn't paying attention to the traffic?





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: This is my first fic, so comments are appreciated.  The rest of the original chapter is now in chapter 2.  


* * *

Brian walked into the Diner for his usual morning breakfast, completely oblivious to the repercussions of his actions from the previous night. He took a seat at the counter next to Michael and ordered his meal, "Flop two, sinker, and some suds." He didn't hear Ted's self-loathing comment, all his attention fixed on the two things he had yet to consume that morning: His breakfast and His Sunshine.   
As if reading his mind, a skill the young blonde had gained by instinct and had learned to finely tune over the past year or so, Justin came up behind Brian, doughnut in hand.  
  
"Morning, Sunshine," Brian greeted the young busboy turned waiter.  
  
"Can I get you anything else?" Justin replied dryly, agitated by Brian's nonchalance regarding his encounter with the Zucchini Man.   
  
"Yeah, come to think of it." With a slight moan of anticipation, Brian stretched his neck eagerly expecting Justin's waiting lips.   
  
"I'll be late for class." Justin quickly exited the Diner, not waiting for Brian's reaction to his hasty rejection. In typical Kinney fashion, Brian brushed off his Sunshine's refusal to partake in PDA, something he secretly knew Justin enjoyed every bit as much as he did.   
  
Still, this mask of indifference did not hide his initial feelings from Michael, who simply shook his head and let out a low snort at his best friend's pitiful attempt to conceal his emotions. He knew he had to get the whole story. There was no reason Justin would turn Brian down. It was obvious, after knowing him for 16 years, that the ad exec wouldn't willingly open up about his personal life, even if it was Michael. Actually, ESPECIALLY if it was Michael. Mikey figured he would have better luck getting all the facts from Justin. He left Brian to finish his breakfast as he went to find Boy Wonder before he left Liberty and headed to PIFA.   
  
"Hey! Did your mother teach you to cross on the green?!" Mikey quickly pulled a clearly dazed Justin out of busy oncoming traffic. Michael chuckled when he asked, "What did he do now?"   
  
"Nothing," Justin responded, attempting to escape Michael's questioning.   
  
"Cut the shit. I know that face. That's the 'Brian Kinney just fucked me' face."   
  
"Yeah, except it wasn't me he was fucking. It was some other guy. I come home; he's on the fucking couch…" Michael couldn't hold back the laugh at that.   
  
"Another hurricane off the coast of Florida. Another earthquake in Peru. So what else is new?"   
"I just thought that now that we're together…" Michael didn't let Justin finish.   
  
"That things would be different. Brian is never gonna change. You know that." Michael thought this was common knowledge and was surprised Justin hadn't picked up on that by now.   
  
"Then why am I there?" Being Michael, never one to think before he speaks, he blurted out the first thought to come to mind. "Maybe…because you got bashed in the head and he feels guilty."   
  
Justin took in this suggestion and seemed to acknowledge the fear that had stored itself in the back of his head. He quickly zoned out once again and reentered traffic. Michael realized how horrible and heartless he sounded to HIMSELF. He could only imagine what Justin was thinking. He tried to recover quickly, but it was futile. "Look, I didn't mean for it to sound like that!…Sorry." He turned back to the Diner and was about to enter when he heard the loud screeching of tires and an accompanying thud.  
  
MICHAEL POV  
  
'What the fuck was I thinking? Yeah, I know this professor's really cute…Okay. He's more than cute, he's gorgeous, but I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Maybe I should just back out right now. No one would ever notice…except Ben.   
  
Oh, Ben! He really is a gorgeous specimen. But something tells me he goes deeper than the body. I already know he's smart. Hello, a fuckin' college professor! But there seems to be something genuine and sweet about him. Maybe I should give this lecture thing a shot. Granted, this speech is for shit.   
  
Ted and Emmett aren't helping. Neither of them is listening to me. Oh, here comes Brian. Maybe he can help me. On second thought, maybe I should wait. He'll need his daily morning dose of Sunshine. Who knows how long they'll take? Here comes Boy Wonder, now.   
  
Okay. Something's up. Justin never turns Brian down. What did he do now? I look over at Brian after Justin walks away. He actually seems upset. Of course, he'd never admit that. He's wearing his usual mask of indifference. He actually thinks I can't see through that shit. Well, he's obviously not going to talk. Maybe I can get the whole story from Justin before he leaves.  
  
I run out of the Diner right before he's about to walk directly into traffic. Okay, something's DEFINITELY up. I see that look on Justin's face. I know that face. He says it's nothing. Yeah, right. I may not be a Carnegie Mellon professor, but I know what that face means. He finally tells me. I should have known. He caught Brian on the couch with a trick. I honestly don't know why Justin's surprised. This is who Brian is. Justin knew that when he met him. Hell, if it weren't for Brian's tricking, they never would have met in the first place. Still, we all know whatever it is between them is different.  
  
He's really upset. He's at a loss. He wants answers. He wants some kind of validation as to why he's living with Brian. I let the first thought that comes to my head slip.  
  
"Maybe…because you got bashed in the head and he feels guilty." Smooth, Novotny. Did you really just say that to him? Before I can pull my thoughts together, Justin is crossing the busy avenue. I yell out an unheard apology and turn to go back inside the Diner. Then I hear it. A loud screech and a pounding thud. I turn around, expecting to see a simple collision between a car and a garbage can or something. What I see I am not prepared for. I stand there in shock, watching the crimson flow trickle across the street.'  
  
JUSTIN POV  
  
'I should have known better. 1500 on my SATs and I didn't see one of the eternal truths of the world: Rule #1 in The Kinney Operating Manual: "Brian Kinney will never change." I let myself get comfortable and naively thought I could change him. Well, he won't have to deal with me much longer. I'm staying with Daphne after I finish my classes for the day until I have to face the inevitable. I never realized how much I was in the way of his life. Well, I've always wanted him to be happy. I'll get my stuff when I go back tonight.  
  
Oh, here he comes. Yep, I knew it. He's acting like nothing happened. I'm just gonna get him his breakfast as quickly as I can and then I'm outta here.  
  
What the fuck?! He just tried to kiss me! He really has no idea what's going on. What the fuck is taking this damn light so long? He'll probably come home tonight and want a quick fuck without even talking to me. Well, sorry. I'm sick of no more than a convenient fuck to him. I do love him, with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for him. I know this. But, it's obvious he's never going to feel the same way.  
  
What the fuck? Oh. Of course. Michael. Always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong…  
  
Shit. That's it. I've always had that idea in the back of my mind, but I guess I just didn't want to believe it. He still feels guilty and is only letting me live with him to try to make up for it. Well, he won't have to worry about that anymore. His conscience can finally be at peace…Oh shit!'  
  
  
  



	2. Realizations

Michael, still in shock, runs back into the Diner screaming, "Call 911! Call 911! Hurry!" Kiki, unaware of the details of the situation, immediately dials and says there's been a car accident in front of the Liberty Diner and gives the Diner's address before hanging up. Deb tries to calm Michael down so she can get all the information out of him.

"Michael! Michael! What happened?! What was that? Michael attempts to calm himself and his breathing and tell his mother what happened, but he can't seem to get the words out. Between quick panicked breaths all he can manage out is…"Justin!" Brian, who only seconds earlier was playing off a mask of indifference regarding the young artist, immediately goes pale and leaps from his seat at the counter, unknowingly leading a shocked and worried group consisting of Deb, Michael, Ted, and Emmett out of the Diner.  
  
Brian pushes open the door and looks on in horror. He is once again face to face with one picture he never wanted to again witness in his life: the combination of Justin and blood. Brian seems to be frozen in a time warp. Lost in his memories, unable to move his body in the present. He is brought out of his reverie by the sound of Debbie's shrill scream of "Sunshine!" Brian darts forward and kneels beside the young blonde. Taking him in his arms, Brian assesses the damage. He sees blood on Justin's face, head, neck, and hands, along with pieces of glass pierced through his perfect pallid skin and holes in his clothing.  
  
BRIAN POV  
  
"Sunshine! Sunshine! Justin! Wake up! Come on, Baby. Wake up! Please! Oh god!" I'm panicking now. Oh my god. He's bleeding. He's bleeding everywhere. Even his fragile hands. The last thing they need is more damage. How the hell did this happen? My beautiful baby lying in the middle of the fucking street, covered in the crimson monster that is his blood, and once again I didn't stop it from happening. That's it. It's my fault. If I hadn't fucked that goddamn zucchini man this never would have happened. I could tell by the look on his face that I had hurt him. And for what? So I could prove to myself I don't give a shit about anyone? That all I care about is fucking? That's exactly why. Once again, I listened to what other people think and expect from me and proved them all right. Why couldn't I have just walked out of the store with Justin and forgotten about the damn zucchini man? I already don't remember the fuck or him. If I had just forgotten about him, I could have gone home with Justin, fucked his brains out, woken up with him, and at this very moment be enjoying watching that beautiful ass deliver orders to hungry customers. Now I sit here in the street with his head in my hands on my lap. I didn't even realize tears were streaming down my face until they slid down my cheek and landed on his, mixing with his blood.  
  
Suddenly someone has their hands firmly gripped on my arms, pulling me away.   
No. You can't take me away. I have to stay with him. I can't leave him. I turn around to see the person ripping me away is an EMT. They quickly load Justin onto a stretcher and into a waiting ambulance. Debbie grabs me into a hug, sobbing into my shoulder. All she says is, "Go with him." Not needing to be told twice to be by Justin's side, I head for the ambulance. The same EMT who pulled me away from Justin sees my emotion and senses some sort of relationship. He asks me if I am family and the first thing that comes to my mind I blurt out. "I'm his partner," I quickly, but strongly state. The EMT nods and I get into the ambulance.


	3. Once Again

  
Author's notes: I hope the wait was worth it. Sorry I took so long.  


* * *

BRIAN POV

I never thought I'd be here again. As if the ambulance ride wasn't a big enough dose of deja-vu. I, once again, sat on that piece of shit plank they dare to call a seat, gripping Justin's hand. Once again, I felt as if the whole world was crashing around me. As the EMTs were monitoring his stats, I sat there staring at my beautiful boy. Correction. Beautiful man. I know everyone always sees him as so young, but I've always known him as a man, from the night we met. The only times I see him as a boy are times like these, when I feel that dire need to protect him at all costs. Yet, once again, I failed. Once again, I'm the reason he's here. 

During the ride to the hospital I did have time to think. I thought about everything: the night we met, him naming my son, those early days when I still thought he was just a young stalker who would go away eventually. I thought about the constant times he defended me, the day Craig kicked him out, those days when he would come home from school with bruises or a bloody lip from fuckin' Hobbs, or the one when he came home with the burn on his hand, the result of those assholes trashing his locker. I remembered the night he asked me for advice on starting a GSA at his school. I thought he was crazy. I thought he was a naïve idealist. Still, something told me he needed to do what he felt was right. So, I gave him my advice, the result of which was more shoving from Hobbs, the locker incident, and a nice suspension on the side.

Then, I remembered the prom. No, I don't mean I sat there and dwelled on the bashing. I'd already done that just waiting for Justin to be loaded into the ambulance. No, I remembered right after Mikey left after his little "You're Brian Kinney for fuck's sake" speech. I had sat on the couch and thought. I swear I think my whole life is nothing but repetition. I realized that not only was I still young, still beautiful, could still hold my own against any tight-assed high school virgin, but for once in my life, I genuinely wanted to make someone else happy. I realized that I cared for Justin, much more than I would have admitted to myself earlier. Could I love him? No I wouldn't let myself become a diary pouring out every fuckin' emotion I had, but I definitely felt that going to his prom would give me the strength to finally say those three little, yet fuckin' powerful words to Justin.

I almost did it. When we were in the parking garage and he was leaning against the door of the Jeep, I almost had the nerve. Then, I chickened out. Instead, I did the only thing I felt I could do that felt right. I kissed him. I kissed him with all the love and passion combined I had and begged that he would get the message. I think he did. When he turned back to me on his way to go get Daphne, he gave me one of his famous Sunshine smiles. I remembered finally realizing why Debbie calls him Sunshine, and, consequently, using the name has become second nature to me. As I walked back to my Jeep, I was on a high I'd never felt before. True, I hadn't been able to muster up balls to say the words I felt, but I had hope that I would be able to soon. That hope was shattered with the crack of a bat. I, much like today, felt every ounce of mere possibility I had to attain happiness flea in an instant.

Now, I, once again, sit in this hospital, (I have come to loathe them as a whole) and wait. Wait. Wait for a simple announcement that could very possibly change my life, either for the better or for the worse. Only time will tell. Hopefully the wait won't be much longer.


	4. Confusion

  
Author's notes: Sorry this chapter's so short. The next should be longer.  


* * *

1 hour earlier: The Liberty Diner

EMMETT POV 

"Oh my god. I can't believe that just happened! How'd he not see that a car was coming?"

MICHAEL POV

"I don't know, Em. He was just out of it. He was upset and pissed 'cause he came home last night and found Brian fucking a trick on the couch."

DEBBIE POV

"THAT FUCKIN' ASSHOLE! Hadn't Sunshine already been through enough?! Now, he's going back into the fucking hospital! Who knows what damage there will be this time?!"

Deb broke down in uncontrollable sobs. Michael was able to catch her before she hit the ground.

MICHAEL POV

"He's gonna be okay, Ma. He always pulls through. He'll be fine." I'm not so sure about that. Two head injuries in less than a year? What if he doesn't make it through? What will that do to our little makeshift family? Well, we don't know anything yet. I just hope he pulls through. I can't imagine what everyone would have to go through if he doesn't.

"I can't believe he did that because of Brian!" Ted sighed. It sucks to think Brian looked completely broken when he saw him." " I know," Emmett gasped out between sobs. "And what was that…'Baby'? I've never seen Brian call Justin 'Baby'. I guess he cares a lot more than any of us thought." Everyone silently nodded in agreement before going to their cars and following each other to Allegheny General.


	5. Family Affair

On the way to the hospital, Michael had called Jennifer, Melanie, Lindsay, and Vic and explained the entire situation. He also called Ben to explain he wouldn’t be able to give his scheduled lecture. Ben was more than understanding and offered to come to the hospital after his last class was over. This took Michael by surprise, causing him to suspect that maybe there was more in this future regarding Ben than he anticipated.

Now, the main waiting room of Allegheny General Hospital was filled with the entire family, including Ben who had just arrived only a few minutes ago and Daphne, whom Brian had called once he got there, barely able to make out coherent sentences . When the first group, consisting of Deb, Michael, Ted and Emmett arrived, they immediately spotted Brian. He was sitting in one of those malicious plastic chairs that all too often fill hospitals leaning so far over that his forehead reached his knees, silently crying. Daphne was the next to arrive, immediately going to Brian and giving him the only comfort hug he would accept, silently sharing the same horrific memory. Soon to follow were Jennifer, Molly, quickly accompanied by Lindsay and Melanie, who was holding a very awake and confused Gus.

When Jen first arrived, she ran up to Brian sobbing and screaming accusatively. He quickly filled her in on what had happened and she responded with a quiet “I’m sorry,” taken aback by the sight of Brian Kinney in tears.

Now that everyone was together, all they could do was wait for news. Everyone, with the exception of Ben, was in tears. Michael had grown to accept Justin and even love him as a little brother, and Ted had grown to have great respect for him through some long interesting conversations shared either at the Diner or Woody’s. Gus was sobbing simply as a reaction go seeing everyone around him wrenching pain-filled tears.

About two hours after Justin and Brian had arrived in the ambulance, a young female doctor entered the waiting and walked over to Brian. “Excuse me, are you the one who came in with Mr. Taylor?” she quietly asked, tapping him on the shoulder. Brian’s head snapped up so fast it almost broke. “Yes, how is he?” Brian choked out. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.” 


	6. Compassion and Signs

  
Author's notes: I am SO sorry for the long wait. I should have a lot more time to write now. The next chapter is on its way!  


* * *

At that exact moment, Brian Kinney's world came crashing down. He was trying to remain focused on what the doctor was saying, but he couldn't concentrate. His mind drifted. He remembered the last conversation between Justin and himself. He realized what Justin must have thought about him last before that car made contact and the thought made him want to vomit, sob, and die all at once.

Brian was torn away from his thoughts when he heard the word "coma." "What?" He asked, in a state that could only be described as a combination of shock and panic.

"I said that Mr. Taylor is currently in a coma due to the head trauma he sustained. He will survive, but the state he will be in when he awakens is unknown at this time. Family members may go in now to see him. He probably won't be awake for several hours."

"Excuse me, Doctor, but we are all his family." Jennifer announced, to the surprise and gratitude of everyone in the room.

The doctor looked around at the devastated faces and felt a strong sense of compassion. She responded with a "No problem," accompanied by a small smile. Brian felt a rush of relief and gratitude. He liked this doctor. She was human and she could definitely see a relationship between Justin and himself and instead of being repulsed, she attempted to comfort him. Her name tag read `Dr. Ra'. Brian was sure she had told him her name when she first came out, but he wasn't paying attention. If he had, he most likely would have had the same feeling of hope he had at the moment. 'Ra. The sun god,' he thought. He could feel his Sunshine was watching out for him, even from his coma.

Jennifer turned to the grateful, grief-stricken faces and used a small smile to validate what she had said to the young doctor. Everyone slowly rose from their chairs and one by one followed the path to the room containing their sunshine. It was room number 1729. Brian also took this as a hopeful sign that HIS Justin would pull through.


	7. Observations

  
Author's notes: I am SOOOOO sorry for the long wait. I'm also sorry this chapter is so short. The next will be longer. I promise! :)  


* * *

The family filed into Justin's room at sloth speed, everyone mentally preparing themselves for what they were about to see. Brian waited a few seconds after everyone else went in so he could pull himself together.

As he entered the room, he was greeted with quiet sobs from the women. This sound alone made him dread turning from the door more than castration. When he finally turned around, the sight before him made him want to go on a rampage.

Justin lie in a typical hospital bed, which to anyone else would seem completely normal and standard, but to Brian, symbolized what HE considered an unavoidable fact: Justin was hurt for the second time in less than a year and he didn't do what he had always, even in the beginning, felt was his responsibility. He hadn't protected Justin. He had failed the one person who had put 100 percent of their faith in him. This bed had become yet another barrier preventing him from making contact with his Sunshine.

Justin's fair skin looked bronze compared to the seemingly endless bandages enveloping his fragile frame. His head and ribs were wrapped, while numerous smaller bandages covered gashes and scratches along his face and arms, as well as around his knuckles and even one on each hand. There is also a neck brace.

Brian can barely tear his eyes away from the live action nightmare he is witnessing, but he manages when he hears a shrill cry from the corner of the room.

"Papa!"


	8. A New Title

  
Author's notes: I am SOOOO sorry for the long wait. Computer issues. But no worries. Godiva and I are best friends again....(Yes I named a computer after a drag queen.) :)  


* * *

At that, everyone looked to the forgotten small boy in the corner. Melanie was holding Gus securely in her arms as he was now relentlessly attempting to reach his arms out to the blonde in the bed as his face clearly showed that he could at least understand that Justin was hurt and he couldn't touch him.

Even Brian was shocked by the outburst. He looked to Mel and Lindz for an explanation.

"He knows that you and Justin are always together. He knows you as 'Dada' and he assumed Justin was his other father, especially since he has two moms. He was confused what to call him until some little girl on t.v. called her father 'Papa'. From then on whenever he saw pictures of you two, you were 'Dada' and Justin was 'Papa'. We were surprised at first, but you have to admit it makes sense. Justin's always around Gus. He's been a second father to him. If Gus views him that way, then, we figured, that should tell us something. We weren't sure how you'd feel. We were waiting to tell you."

After her speech, Lindsay expected to see shock or anger on Brian's face. However, she was caught off guard by what appeared. She saw nothing but pure joy and pride for his son.

He gently took Gus from Mel and told him that Papa was hurt but he would be okay soon. He told Gus to give his Papa a kiss to help him feel better. Brian couldn't help the elation that coursed through his body every time he used the 'P word'. He also couldn't prevent the inevitable lump in his throat that formed as he watched his son gently kiss Justin's forehead.

Suddenly he shouted "Mama". He looked to Mel and pointed to the bag she had slung over her shoulder. "Bear!" he exclaimed. Mel removed the leather bear. The first gift Brian ever gave his son had been Gus' constant companion. As Mel handed the bear to Gus, he placed it next to Justin's head on his pillow. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Even Brian felt a burning at the corners of his eyes.

Only Justin's eyes remained closed. But, Brian felt, that would change very soon.


	9. Reevaluations

Everyone eventually left the room after over an hour of tears, hugs, kisses, and 'I love You's.

Brian, however, refused to move. He had taken up residence in a chair next to Justin's bed, silently demanding everyone work around him.

He was encouraged by Michael, Deb, and Jennifer alike to go home and rest. His response was a fervent shake of the head. Michael attempted, once again, but was pulled back by Emmett who gave Brian a knowing, reassuring smile.

It amazed Brian just how well Emmett knew him. He came to the conclusion that it was because Emmett was the only one who knew his true feelings for Justin, even before he himself did.

Emmett had spent a lot of time with Justin, either at the Diner, or Woody's, or even Babylon, talking about everything. He could tell Justin's feelings for Brian were not merely a schoolboy crush. He was the first one to see this during that tumultuous first year before the bashing.

He also was able to read how Brian acted around Justin. He could see Brian's affection, which later turned to love. Brian made a mental note to spend more time with Emmett.

So now here he was, watching the slow rise and fall of the chest of the person who had from the very beginning owned his heart.

His eyes traveled to the stuffed bear resting next to his Sunshine's golden head. He couldn't believe the news he had received today from Mel and Lindz. How could he have never before heard this information about his son?

His mind traveled to the future, seeing Gus graduate and live a happy, successful life. He believed that no matter what his son did in his life, he could not ever be more proud of him as he was right now, at the tender age of one.

Brian had never seen himself as the paternal type, yet he loved his son from the moment their matching hazel eyes locked.

Justin, on the other hand, it seemed, was destined for fatherhood. Even at seventeen, then eighteen, he had instantly loved Gus as his own and also seemed to know what the young infant needed at all times.

Justin, Brian realized, had been in Gus' life just as long as he had, and had definitely spent more time with him than Brian had. Yet, Justin was the only one who never criticized Brian as a parent. In fact, he voiced the opposite.

Brian looked to Justin's form and realized just how fortunate he was to have the blonde in his life. He leaned forward and whispered, "I hope you know I fuckin' love you," and kissed Justin's forehead. He then leaned back in the torture device known to the hospital staff as a chair and waited for his love to awaken.


	10. An Unexpected Ally

About two hours later, Brian felt a slight shaking of his shoulder.  He had dozed off a half hour or so after everyone left.

Brian bolted up in his chair, instantly alert, worried something had happened to Justin while he was asleep.  He looked to his side to see a just slightly startled eleven-year-old.

“Molly?  What are you doing here?”  He asked as he let out a relieved sigh.

“I asked my mom if I could come back to have some time with Justin by myself, but I really wanted to talk to you, so I had her drop me off.”

“What did you want to talk to me about?”  Brian asked, apprehensively.  He knew where Craig and Jennifer each stood in regards to his and Justin’s relationship.  Molly was a different story.  She had witnessed all the drama that went on between Justin and her parents and then more between her parents after he moved out.  She also got a front row seat to all of Justin’s early episodes after the bashing.  Brian was scared she hated him or worse, hated he and Justin both for what had happened to her family.

From the sound of his voice, Molly could tell what was going through his head and with a small chuckle and smile, she replied.

“Don’t worry, Brian.  I know Craig’s an asshole.  After he kicked Justin out I cried for three days.  Not just for what he did but because I realized what kind of person he was and it made me sick.  I’ve always loved Justin and I always will.  I am sad I haven’t been able to get to know you better.  All I ever heard was Craig’s bullshit, that you were older than Justin, that he loved you, and that you were gorgeous, or to quote Daphne, “to die for.”

Brian chuckled at the thought.  He always loved how much Daphne really liked him.  She had always rooted for he and Justin, even when his own friends doubted anything would ever develop between them.

“It turns out Daphne was right about your looks, obviously.  I know Justin loves you, that he always has, and from what I’ve seen tonight I know you love him too.  I didn’t expect to see you fall apart like that, but it made me feel better to see you show your emotions for my brother, but I want to hear those emotions from your own mouth.  I’ve heard Justin’s view, Daphne’s, my mother’s and even Craig’s fucked up version of events.  In fact, let’s just disregard him.  That leaves Justin, Daphne, and my mother.  I want to hear what YOU feel for my brother.”

Brian was taken aback by the bluntness of the young Taylor, but then remembered exactly who was speaking to him and no longer questioned it.  These Taylor offspring had a knack for being straightforward with their thoughts, regardless of whom they were addressing.  Brian smirked at the thought.  He loved that about Justin and was proud Molly had inherited the trait.

Molly looked expectantly directly into Brian’s eyes, awaiting an answer.  When he felt he had formed the right words in his head, Brian responded.

“I’ve always been an asshole.  I had tricks every night whom I would fuck once and then never see again and that was the way I wanted it.  I never believed in love or boyfriends.  I told Justin that after the first time we fucked.  Still, he came back for more again and again.  That was when I first noticed his tenacity and his stubbornness. 

That first night, as soon as I saw him I wanted him.  I could tell there was something different about him but at the time I couldn’t place it.  One thing I did know from the start was that I wanted to protect him.  He seemed so gentle and kind. 

So when all the shit with Craig happened, I felt this need to protect him and defend him.  I had never had that urge to guard someone with my life before.  Even when I was in high school and my friend Mikey would get bullied, I helped him out but I just did it pretty much to make him feel better. 

With Justin, I NEEDED to protect him.  I WANTED to protect him and keep him away from anything that could hurt him, which at the time was Craig.  Over time, I started to realize what that feeling I had first felt for him was, but I couldn’t admit it to myself. 

You see, when I was growing up, I had parents who both literally hated me and treated me like shit.  They would tell me they loved me whenever they were around their friends or anyone they were trying to impress, but then afterwards, they would beat the shit out of me.  It didn’t take long for me to conclude that love was bullshit, just a meaningless word.”

Brian paused at this point and smirked.  “Your brother changed all that.  You really have no idea how much determination and strength he has, Molly.  Anyway, as time went on, my feelings for him intensified to the point where I couldn’t deny them anymore.  Hence my unexpected arrival at his prom.”

Brian closed his eyes and let out a slow, shaky breath once again mentally returning to the beautiful night that ended so tragically.  He opened his eyes and continued.

“After the bashing, I blamed myself.  I kept thinking that if I had just stayed away then nothing would have happened.”

Molly chose this time to interject.

“Brian, Justin had problems with Chris Hobbs all year.  Hobbs just hated him.  He didn’t even play baseball, so you know he was planning on bashing Justin that night, regardless of whether or not you were there.  Although, it’s a good thing you were.  If you hadn’t called his name, the damage could have been a lot worse.  He could have even died.”

This time it was Brian’s turn to interject.

“You know, I blamed myself for the shit he went through with Hobbs at school too.  He would come to the Diner or the loft with new cuts and bruises or the time he had a burn on his hand and I would always see it as my fault.  Justin never saw it that way, but I always thought that if he never met me, he wouldn’t have been so open about who he was and he could have avoided all the shit he had to go through.”

“Brian!  You and I both know Justin.  We know how strong and confident he is.  He would still have had to deal with the same shit he did, only he wouldn’t have had you to lean on.”

Brian let a small smile escape at that comment.  He was then brought back to reality by Molly’s voice.

“Brian.  You still haven’t directly answered my question.  What exactly do you feel for Justin?  I don’t want you to hold anything back.  I want you to express every thought that pops into that beautiful head of yours.”

Brian took a second and then finally came clean.

“I love him.  I’ve never loved someone so much in my entire life and I’ve never once been IN LOVE with someone, but I can’t imagine ever being without him.  He’s become my entire life and I love that he has….He’s my world.”

Molly, plastered with the closest anyone could get to Justin’s ‘Sunshine smile’, had tears in her eyes.  In a small voice she responded, “That’s all I needed…and all I ever wanted to hear.”  She stayed for a little while longer and then got up to leave.  She surprised Brian when she went over to Brian and hugged Brian tightly.  “I love you, Brian,” she said.  “Watch over him.”

“I will.  Don’t worry about that.”  As she got to the door, Brian called to her.

“Hey, Molly.”  He waited for her to turn to face him.  “I love you too, Mol.”

Molly exited the room with a smile on her face, proud she was able to get the supposed man of steel to admit what she had known all along.

 

 


	11. Awakening and Enlightenment

A week. A fuckin’ week. That’s how long Brian had been waiting for Justin to wake up. In that time, he kept constant vigil by his blonde’s side, the farthest he ever went being the hospital’s cafeteria.

After everyone left that first night, Brian had called Cynthia and filled her in on what had happened. The surprisingly distraught woman wanted to come to the hospital and be there for Brian, but he had told her she could be of the most use by holding down the fort at Vanguard since he wouldn’t be coming in for a while.

She completely understood and through her tears told Brian not to worry, that she would explain the severity of the situation to Vance, and take care of all of Brian’s meetings. Brian was surprised by Cynthia’s emotional reaction, but then again, he had yet to see one person meet Justin and not instantly fall for him. Cynthia was no exception. They had become fast friends during the times Justin would come to Vanguard.

Brian had grown into a routine during his time at the hospital. Someone, usually Debbie, would drop off clean clothes for him every other day, usually accompanied with containers of food, and pick up his dirty laundry and wash it at her house. Once every couple of hours, he would take a walk around the hospital to clear his head. During this time would be when he would go to the cafeteria to get some sort of brown liquid the staff called ‘coffee’.

These walks were not his choice. He would have gladly stayed by his lover’s side all day and all night, just watching the blonde sleep, but, during his stay, he had become acquainted with the staff, all of which had grown to love him.

There was one nurse whom Brian had seen as a female version of himself named Rae. She shared his brutally honest attitude and cynical demeanor. She had told him that if he didn’t get out of the room at least every two hours, she would personally rip his balls off and shove them up his ass, causing his eyes to pop out of his head.

Needless to say, the next day Brian was out discovering all the hospital had to offer.

So, here he was. A week had gone by and still his Sunshine had yet to open those ocean blue eyes of his.

He had been sitting in his usual spot, eating Deb’s latest delivery, conversing with her as well as Em and Jen whom had stopped in to check on the young blonde.

As Emmett was attempting to make conversation, talking about what had been going on in the world as of late, he was cut off mid-sentence when the door swung open.

Everyone looked up to see a very angry Michael stomp through. He walked up to Brian and began his inevitable whine Brian just knew had to be coming.

“Brian! What are you still doing here?! It’s been a fucking week and he hasn’t woken up. I doubt he’ll miss you if you’re gone for a day or two. Fuck you have a business to run, not to mention other people you are forgetting about here, people who have known you a lot longer than HE has.”

Everyone in the room, Brian included, seemed to be in shock. Before he could find the right words, Michael continued.

“Come on Brian don’t pull this guilt shit again. I told him you took him in ‘cause you felt guilty about what happened. Don’t let him do that to you again, Bri!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! You told him what?” As he said this, Brian was on his feet in Michael’s face. His temperature began to rise as his stomach plummeted. His anger and fear of what Michael could have possibly done battling to become the dominant emotion.

“The day of the accident, Brian. He was mad about finding you on the couch with a trick. I couldn’t understand how he could be upset. I mean, you’ve always tricked. That’s who you are. I told him that. That you were never going to change. He asked why he was staying with you if you weren’t willing to be monogamous. I just told him the truth. I told him you felt guilty for the bashing and him living with you was your way of gaining redemption.”

As soon as Michael was finished he was on the floor. Brian’s fist had connected with his left eye causing the shorter man to fall flat on his side. Brian didn’t give him time to recover, though. He soon picked him up by the collar of his jacket and threw him against the wall.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” Brian growled in the other man’s face. I’ve never done anything for anyone out of pity or guilt, except maybe hang out with you during high school! I wanted Justin to live with me. It was never an inconvenience or a chore. I didn’t want to leave him when he got out of the hospital in the first place. The only reason I stayed away was because Jen asked me to. It fuckin’ killed me to turn him away! That’s why when she showed up at my place asking me to take him back in I jumped at it without thinking twice. I wanted him with me! I still want him with me! I fucking love him!”

At that everyone’s eyes widened, including Michael’s. His in pure shock, everyone else’s in shock that what they knew all along, or for Jen, what she’d known for that past week, was finally being expressed verbally by Brian.

“Brian! You don’t know what you’re saying! Don’t say that! You’ve been cooped up in this hospital too long. You need to get out and live again. Become the Brian Kinney I know. The Brian Kinney who never gave two shits about anyone but himself! Come on Brian!!!”

“I’M NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE, MICHAEL!” Brian screamed at the top of his lungs. “I’m not fuckin’ fourteen anymore. I will never go back to that. I’ve grown up. You should think about doing the same!”

“Brian?!” Michael asked in a mix of disbelief and hurt.

“Get the fuck out, Michael! Don’t come back until you grow the fuck up!”

“BRIAN!” Michael whined.

Brian was about to respond when he heard probably the quietest sound he ever heard, a whispered plea of “Stop.”


	12. Working It Out

  
Author's notes: I'm so sorry for the long wait.  I promise updates will be a lot sooner!  


* * *

Brian snapped his head in the direction of the nearly inaudible sound, while his hands remained secured around Michael’s neck.

He faced a pair of beautiful azure orbs. He released Michael with one final push against the wall.

He quickly scurried to the side of his incapacitated lover.

“Hey, Sunshine,” he said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit. I hurt all over. What the hell’s going on? Why are you trying to kill Michael, and more importantly, what the fuck are you doing here?” Justin inquired with a hint of anger and confusion in his voice.

Brian was taken aback, to say the least, by his lover’s sudden outburst.

“I’m here because you were hit by a fucking car, Justin,” he responded in awe.

“I’m painfully aware of that. What I’m asking is what are _you_ doing here?”

“Where else do you think I’d be?”

“With your dick up somebody’s ass,” Justin replied under his breath.

“You know, I think we’ll leave you two to talk for minute, okay? So glad to see you finally awake, Baby,” Emmett declared as he push Deb, Jen, and Michael out the door.

“Thanks, Em,” was Justin’s response before he returned his attention to Brian.

Brian took this time to begin explaining.

“Justin, there are some things I need to say to you and I need you to listen without interrupting me until I am finished, okay?”

Justin responded with a hesitant nod.

“Okay,” Brian breathed. “First of all, I love you. Let me just get that out in the open right now. I love you so much. I’ve felt something for you ever since that first night, but I know for a fact I’ve loved you since that whole Kip Thomas thing.”

At this, Justin’s eyes widened, yet Brian pushed on.

“Now before you say anything, I found out what you did from a very pissed off Kip. I knew then how much you really loved me and how much you were willing to sacrifice for me. It was then I knew that my feelings for you were safe. Yet, I was still scared you would hurt me in some way. Hence the zucchini man.

People kept talking about how much I’d changed now that I was in a relationship and I let my ego and pride get in the way of what I really wanted and I pushed you away. It was wrong and I’ll never forgive myself for that.

Now, Mikey told me what he said to you as you were leaving the Diner and I swear everything he said was a fucking lie. I didn’t take you in because I felt sorry for you. I took you in because I wanted you with me. I sleep better with you beside me and I’m generally in a better mood when you’re around. Just ask Cynthia. She knows when I walk into the office with a smile on my face that you’ve done something, consciously or not, to put me in a good mood before leaving for work. You’re the only person who makes me happy Justin. I need you with me. I really do.

Another thing, before you say anything, I _am_ capable of change. I don’t give a shit what Mikey says. He still has this mindset of a fourteen-year-old, thinking I’ll be the same forever. Well, believe it or not, I’m ready to grow up, and I want you with me for the ride.

It’s amazing Mikey still doesn’t believe I can change, considering he knows full well I’ve broken every single one of my bullshit rules for you.”

Justin smiled slightly at that last comment.

“Now,” Brian declared, “I’m done. Anything you’d like to say Sunshine?” he asked with a smirk.

“Wow,” was the first thing to enter Justin’s mind and the first to leave his lips. “Well, that’s a lot for being awake for all of five minutes,” he said with a smile.

“You sure you’re ready for this, Brian?” he asked, prepared to be shot down.

“Absolutely. I’m ready to be an adult and face the real world, as long as you’re there next to me,” he responded with almost childish shyness, awaiting his lover’s response.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Justin smiled.

Brian leaned down and softly captured his lover’s lips with his own.

“I love you, Sunshine.” “I love you too, Bri. Now, let’s get this family reunion over with.”

Brian chuckled, knowing that’s exactly what would happen. Once the rest of the family heard Sunshine was awake, they would flood in like a tsunami. He walked to the door to let Jen, Deb, and Emmett know they could go in. He didn’t even notice the absence of one Michael Novotny.

 


	13. Temporary Relief

Justin had to stay in the hospital for three days after he woke up. His doctors wanted to make sure everything was fine so he wouldn’t have any serious complications once he returned home.

Justin, of course, was not pleased with this news. He had already missed a week of life and was anxious to return to the outside world. His now eternal phobia of hospitals didn’t help any.

However, the conditions were minimized by one fact.

Brian was here.

It amazed Justin just how much of a difference it made that Brian was there with him. He didn’t spend lonely days in pseudo-isolation debating the man’s true feelings.

He was here, his feelings were out in the open, and he never left.

The hospital’s staff came to treat the couple as regulars at Cheers, so to speak. If they all loved Brian while Justin was unconscious, they adored the conscious version of the young ball of sunshine.

When the day came for the boys to finally leave the hospital, the staff was actually upset. They loved the two and they seemed to always bring joy to the hospital.

Brian helped Justin into the Jeep and buckled his seat belt.

“Brian, I can buckle my own seat belt,” Justin said with a smile.

With a look of a mix of ‘Let me do this’ and ‘Don’t even think about it’ Brian responded, “Sunshine, arms, hands, shoulders, and torso are required for the proper fastening of a seat belt. Your arms, shoulders, and hands are cut up and your torso is bruised. Now, will you stop being a drama princess and let me help you?”

Justin laughed at Brian’s attempt at sounding like a professor and Brian, seeing that beautiful smile and hearing such a care-free laugh couldn’t resist. He leaned in and planted his lips on his more than receptive lover’s.

After about a minute they pulled apart and Brian walked around to the driver’s side.

“Home we go,” Brian sing-songed as he put the Jeep in drive.

“Home,” Justin sighed, relieved to finally be returning home to the loft.

Once again, neither man noticed the man lurking behind the building. This one, however, was not holding a bat, he was holding a key.


	14. An Uneasy Feeling

Against his lover’s protests, Brian carried Justin all the way to the bedroom where he gently lay the man down. Stepping back, Brian stared at the exquisite creature in front of him. This man deserved to never be harmed, ever. Yet, he had been through more shit than anyone could ever imagine in one lifetime, all before he was even nineteen years old.

Brian mentally cursed himself, knowing he may have never physically hurt Justin, but he was responsible for much of the young man’s emotional pain.

Justin caught the sullen, far away look in his lover’s eyes and tried his best to bring Brian out of his self-inflicted mental prison.

“Hey, Bri. It’s okay. I’m okay. Now please, make me feel good.”

“I don’t think so, Sunshine. You just got out of the hospital and I refuse to cause you anymore pain, no matter how much you want me inside you…and no matter how much I want to be there and never leave,” Brian finished the last part in nearly a whisper.

Justin let out a sigh. “Fine, but as soon as I’m healed and the doctor gives the okay, we’re not leaving this bed for at least twenty-four hours.”

Brian chuckled and with a smile whispered, “I promise.” The two lovers curled up together with Justin’s head planted on Brian’s chest and fell into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, Brian was getting ready for work when he once again questioned the wisdom of his decision of leaving Justin at the loft alone for the day.

“Justin, really. I can miss a day of work. It won’t kill me. I’d feel much better knowing I was here with you in case you need anything.”

“Brian, it’s fine. You’ve missed so much work since my accident. You really don’t need to fall behind. I’m not a baby. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry.”

“Believe me, Sunshine. I know you’re far from a baby, but you’re my baby and you only got out of the hospital yesterday.”

“I know, Bri, but I’ll be okay. Now go to work and wow everyone with your brilliance. I love you.”

“Okay. I love you, too.”

Brian walks over to Justin, who is still sitting up in bed and delivers a passionate kiss filled with all the love he had for the young man as well as the fear he had of ever losing him.

Once they pulled apart, roughly two minutes later, Brian whispered “Later,” which Justin reciprocated, and walked out the door, being sure to lock it on his way.


	15. Premeditation

MICHAEL POV

As soon as I saw the Jeep drive away, I stepped out from my hiding place behind the building. Using the key Brian so kindly bestowed upon me years ago, years before “Sunshine” ever showed up, I let myself into the building.

Not wanting to give Justin any clue that I am on my way, I forego the elevator and take the stairs. I unlock the door and step through. I don’t see Justin right away, so I slowly make my way up to the bedroom. There, I see him still asleep. He really does have a beautiful body. No wonder Brian fucked him more than once when they first met. This makes my plan even more fitting.

Slowly, I make my way over to him and then in one swift motion, I attack.

BRIAN POV

I was about half way to the office when I got that uneasy feeling again; only this time, it was a lot stronger. I felt like Justin needed me right then and if I didn’t get to him right away something would happen.

Without another thought, I turned the Jeep around and headed back to the loft. This whole feeling could very well be nothing other than my slightly obsessive need to protect him, but after the bashing and the accident, I would much rather be safe than sorry.

MICHAEL POV

I threw my body on top of Justin’s and slammed my hand over his mouth. He immediately awoke and began to squirm. That’s when I decided to pull out the gun I stole from the Big Q just before I quit.

I placed the gun against his temple and watched with delight as his eyes grew three times their size. I attempted to flip him over on his stomach, but he decided to fight. My response was an easy one. I simply smacked him on the side of the head with the gun.

His struggele immediately ceased. As I went to pull his pants down, I realized the reason he had stopped struggling was because he was unconscious.

“Perfect,” I thought. “There’s no way he can fight back now.” As I was pulling my pants down, however, I heard the loft door screech open.


	16. The Definition of Justifiable Homicide

  
Author's notes: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE!  I SHOULD BE UPDATING AT A MUCH QUICKER RATE FROM NOW ON!  


* * *

BRIAN POV 

I run up the stairs, foregoing the elevator. I needed to get to him and the last thing I wanted was to waste time with the slow ass elevator. I put my key in the lock, but I’m surprised to find the door already open. I pull it open and immediately my eyes lock with his. He has his pants halfway don and he’s on top of Justin. He looks at me and his eyes look scared.

He should be.

I run up the stairs leading to the bedroom and that’s when I see the gun.

Without even thinking, I run up and push Michael down onto the bed. I punch him once in the face and grab the gun.

I drag him off the bed and literally throw him into the living room. I point the gun right in his face and let all my emotions go.

“How fuckin’ dare you?! You come into MY home and you try to rape and kill my partner?!!!”

He has the nerve to give me fuckin’ puppy dog eyes.

“I was doing this for you, Brian. I had to get rid of him for you! He was ruining your life. He was controlling you! He was taking you away from me and I had to stop him! If you hadn’t come back here, he would be gone by now, completely out of our lives, his blood leaking from his head and my cum dripping out of that tight, smooth ass of his!”

At this point, all other thoughts leave me. I cock the gun and just before I’m about to shoot, I decide I want to see him suffer. I shoot him in the neck and then again in the leg.

I grab him by the neck and squeeze.

As the life is slowly leaving his body, I whisper harshly to him.

“You could never be what he is to me. I love him more than anything in this world. I hate you. I never liked you in the slightest sexual way once. That’s just too disgusting for me. Rot in hell you fucking bastard!”

With these last words, his eyes roll back in his head and all his muscles relax.

This may surprise you, but I feel no remorse at all for what I’ve just done. If this wasn’t justifiable homicide, I don’t know what is.

I go back to the bedroom to take care of any scrapes or anything Justin might have when I see the blood dripping from his head. 


	17. One Out of a Million

  
Author's notes: Sooo sorry for the long wait!  This chapter is really a short chapter of explanation.  The next update will be much more in depth.  


* * *

Brian POV

I look over at Justin who’s currently staring out the window of the Jeep. We figured one out of the million times he’s had to suffer through some sort of trauma, he’d catch a break. Thankfully, today was it.

When we got to the hospital, the staff rushed him back. The adrenaline that had built when I first saw Mikey in the loft, and then eased away after I’d dealt with him, was back with a vengeance. I know the nurse at the desk in the waiting area was ready to throw me out simply from the sickness I was causing her as she watched me pace back and forth on that horribly tiled floor.

When the doctor finally walked out, I barely saw him; I was so focused on those ugly squares that made up the floor.

I held my breath as our eyes met. It was then that I saw it; and I felt a small glimmer of hope make its way into my heart and a painstakingly sluggish rate.

The doctor, one I’d never seen before, told me they were able to stop the bleeding and that Justin had suffered merely a concussion; a severe concussion, but a concussion nonetheless.

I finally was able to let out the breath I’d been holding. They wanted to hold him overnight due to his past injuries and I was prepared to take up camp once again at Allegheny General.

That was until I got to Justin’s room. He refused to stay there one more night. No matter how much the doctor and I both attempted to make him see that staying there was for the best, he wouldn’t hear of it. I wanted him to have the best care possible; but I did understand his reasoning. I would never _make_ him stay in that place against his will any longer than he _had_ to.

That brings us to now. We’re on our way to the nearest hotel. We’re both wiped out and need to let all of this stress melt away.

When we found out Justin was going home, I went outside and called the cops. I gave them the whole story of Mikey’s prior animosity towards Justin and how I had found him when I entered the loft.

I did slip in a little white lie saying that I had to battle the gun away from Mikey and then shot him; but hey, after what that piece of shit did, I think I think a little lie can pass.

The cop I spoke to told me that it sounded like self-defense and that Mikey would be gone within the hour. When I told him we were coming home, though, the cop said they still had to photograph the crime scene.

This brings us to the parking lot of The Four Seasons. I put the Jeep in park and Justin turns to look at me.

I told him, while in the Jeep, everything that happened with Mikey. Up until this point, he’s been silent.

I look into his eyes and he gives me a very small smile.

“I love you,” he whispers with such sincerity and conviction that I almost break down right then and there.

I respond with, “I love you, too,” and that’s when that small smile turns into that playful smirk that I love.

“No shit,” he laughs. “Race ya!” and he’s out of the Jeep running to the door of the hotel. With a smile, I get out of the Jeep, lock it, and run to catch up with my own personal dose of Sunshine.


End file.
